Crazy Girl

Today I am trying to keep tabs of certain parts of me. Those parts that live deep on the inside and go by feeling names such as insecurity, vulnerability and, for lack of a better term, panic. I refer to these feelings amongst my closest friends who truly get me (because this inner monster dwells in them as well) as "crazy girl" and I have made a 28 year habit of trying to quelsh her existance. However, today I am embracing her and, while the feelings are by no means comfortable, I am using deep meditative breaths and calming self talk to coax out the reason within them. "Crazy Girl," as it turns out, can be a voice of pure genius when listened to and sorted out into something that resembles good sense. Today I am learning that "Crazy Girl" isn't so crazy at all...but rather my heart and my history melting like flame when something (or someone) lights the wick beneath it. If I can train myself to hear with more accuracy and compassion than maybe I can build authenticity into my relationship with myself and others. That, my friends, is not soft or weak; it's strength.