Thursday, April 17, 2008

Is the grass really greener?

Of all the things I don't understand in this world, I am most perplexed by the "grass is greener" syndrome. Ok, men...but that's another story. Why do we always want what we can't have? Case in point; all the women I know who had boys wanted the opposite and vise versa. Except Miss Becca, who desperately wanted a girl so therefore assumed she'd have a boy. She had girl, which naturally I had wanted. My little Amelia.

Yesterday Becca wrote about how, despite original desires, we end up with just what we need. As usual, she's right. While she rolls on tights and plays with pigtails I throw on jeans and go. While her daughter pushes dolly around the house in the stroller, my son tries to dismantle the lamp. Oh, and the living room. For he is a fire ball of energy, constantly on the move. Rough and tumble, that one. Turns the whole world into his personal jungle gym, and every moment brings the opportunity to explore a new adventure.

If I weren't so exhausted trying to be a single working mom, the same could be said of me. In fact, my boy reminds me so much of myself it's uncanny. He looks like me; same hair, same smile. Same wicked little grin and matching dimples. But that's only the beginning. He's strong yet gentle. Pure and simple. Forever forgiving. The worlds best snuggler. Happy, hyper and wholesome. He is his Mama's boy.

Funny thing, I always pictured myself with a boy. And single. Probably more a self fulfilled prophecy than something deeply insightful. Even funnier; I always wanted a girl because I thought she'd be so sweet. Now I can't imagine a kid sweeter than Hayden, who grabs both my cheeks to get my attention before planting a big smack right on my lips. "MMM-bah! Hayden kisses melt my heart.

So, for now I'll leave the dresses, bows and pinkness to Rebecca. She's good with those things. As for me? I'm gonna slip on an old pair of jeans and go.

1 comment:

Rebecca is Fabulous said...

as much as i am convinced i was meant to be violet's mama, i know you are meant to be hayden's. god knows the kids we are supposed to have, and the way you beam when he is around...you are the mama he needs, you are the fun-loving, spontaneous, wacky girl i met in the dorms 4 years ago, and that is what he needs.